How To Make My Boyfriend Respect Me For Better Relationships

How to make my boyfriend respect me? My boyfriend doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t value me and our relationship. What I am doing wrong? Those questions come up from time to time and woman just don’t know how to make their relationships with their significant other better, make your boyfriend respect you more and value your contribution in the relationship.

See, it is not uncommon for women, when they find themselves a great new relationship, to roll over and 'play dead'. This is a particularly apt phrase, which basically means 'they inconvenience themselves on a regular basis for the sake of spending time with their new man.'

This inconveniencing generally comes in the form of CANCELING PLANS and giving up stuff that you like to do - often, stuff that formed the backbone of the pleasure in your life.

I'm not talking about quitting college or giving up your career or anything like that (although, and it pains me to say this, some women are, unfortunately, shortsighted enough to give up their livelihoods when they 'find somebody'.) I'm primarily talking about giving up the so-called 'little things' that, prior to meeting the new man, made up a large part of your personal routine.

For example: spending time with your pets. Seeing your friends regularly. Going out for morning coffee with your mom on Saturdays. Girls' nights out. Your weekly Pilates class. That novel you've been enjoying. etc.

Are you finding yourself building your life around your man’s schedule? Do you cancel your plans to be with your boyfriend? Does this pattern sound familiar to you? And, if so, how does it make you feel? Does it seem like your boyfriend does not appreciate your efforts?

For other women, it's not quite so obvious. They may not cancel any plans, but they may RUIN those plans by checking their voicemail every 20 minutes in case HE'S left a message. Or they may spend the whole time obsessing about HIM. Or they may even be managing to stick to their hectic schedule ... by sacrificing basic personal essentials, like sleep and rest.

Besides the obvious drawbacks of quitting this stuff, sacrificing your lifestyle - namely, that you give up doing stuff that you like! - it also says a LOT about your self-confidence when you start giving up what you enjoy, and canceling your plans, for the sake of spending time with a man.

I'd like to take this opportunity here to point out that I'm not encouraging you to be one of
those rigid women who is so set in her routine and so utterly inflexible that she can't even comprehend of making a change when she meets someone new. OBVIOUSLY when you introduce a fascinating new person into your life, things are going to change.

Instead, I'm trying to highlight the importance of KEEPING YOUR INDEPENDENCE, and the satisfaction that you feel with your life.

Men like women who are independent. An independent woman in a man’s eyes is not someone who can support herself. Rather, an independent woman is the one who does not need a man to make her life happy. She does not depend on a man to fulfill all her emotional needs. She is happy on her own. You do not need to give up your life. You do not need to start rushing through the day, wondering how you can pare down the activities you've scheduled for yourself, just so you can 'fit everything in'. You don't need to STRESS about it.

Dating somebody that you like is meant to enhance your life, not detract from its quality. If you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or depleted, you've gotta take a step back and start investigating WHY THAT IS.

Are you asking too much from yourself? Are you taking on the responsibility for the wellbeing of the relationship without even realizing it? This is a very real possibility. Not to generalize, but the truth is that, as women, we really are conditioned - WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT - to play the role of the 'nurturer'. Heck, we're not even necessarily CONDITIONED to it! To a very large extent, it's simply WHO WE ARE.

Granted, a woman’s role in the relationship is to be nurturing. But if you are over nurturing, you become smothering. One result of this is often that we will put pressure on ourselves, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, to make sure that everybody is getting what they need ... for example, that our friends are seeing us enough, that our pets are happy and well cared for, and that our boyfriend is spending enough time with us to be happy. These are all important things, make no
mistake.

But YOU SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST. What this means is that you should not be
giving stuff up to 'make room' for your new relationship, unless it's RECIPROCAL.

Men NOTICE when you cancel other plans just to be with them. And they don’t like women who depend on a man for her happiness. They may pout and complain if they feel like you've got other priorities over and above them, but ultimately it give a man relief knowing that you can do things on your own and that you don’t need him every minute of every day. A man can relax with a woman like that. He knows that when he need to do things on his own, his woman won’t complaint. Instead, she will get herself busy doing her own thing, and when he comes back, she will be there for him.

Nothing can alter the value of the RESPECT that he will have for you, when your actions prove - over and over - that not only are you an independent woman with her own life...but that you honor your promises (both to yourself, and to others) ... and that you are ALSO content with your life, JUST THE WAY YOU'VE MADE IT.

It is very reassuring to a man to know that he is not the center of your universe. As women, we often make the mistake of acting as though HE THINKS THE SAME WAY WE DO.

As a result of this, our words and actions can convey to him the idea that he is the all-important and vital centerpiece to our lives... when in fact, not only are WE happier when we have our own life, and we FOCUS on that life, but HE is happier too.

He doesn't want to feel like you're a codependent and whiny woman who needs his attention and affection just to get by.

He wants to feel like you're one of the 'cool girls' - a woman who's got a full, happy life, who loves to spend time with him, but doesn't feel the need to compromise the OTHER enjoyable aspects of
her life to focus solely on him.

Occasionally you may come across a man who will complain or pout when your actions prove that you have priorities - and that some of them come before him. He may sulk if you don't come straight over to his house after work (neglecting the gym, dinner, and dog.) He may get upset if you want to have a girls' night out on the weekend. He might complain if your nail appointment clashes with the movie he wanted to take you to see.

DON'T GIVE IN. A woman with self-respect and self-value does not treat her plans and schedules like small, disposable things. They are important to her, because they are HER plans and schedules. And she expects her partner to respect that too.

Secondly, you've got to ask yourself, do you really want to be spending time with a man who clearly does not prioritize your happiness?

Look: let's be realistic here. If he is getting upset because you're spending EVERY WEEKEND doing other things without him, well, he may have a point.

But if your guy is sulking because you happen to have a life that happens to include priorities OTHER THAN him ... you have to think to yourself whether you are really willing to participate fully in a relationship with someone who is not overly concerned with what matters to you.

He might have been 'spoiled' by other women he's dated, women who eagerly cancelled any plans they might have had simply to hang out with him.

He might have had his expectations ruined (temporarily, that is - after all, he's seeing YOU now) by women who didn't understand that being 'too available' is the death knell to a good relationship.

I'm not telling you to be obnoxious or arrogant about your preferences. I'm telling you that if you want to enjoy your life, for your relationship to ALWAYS retain that 'spark', and for him to respect you, you've got to prioritize the things that matter to you.

Remember this: if he pouts, and you give in, you've set a precedent for the future: and he gets the upper hand over you.

Whereas, if you're NICE, but FIRM, and you hold your ground - which is what he secretly wants you to do anyway - things will remain sassy, sexy, and EQUAL.

To learn more about how to have a better relationship Read More ->>>

Commitment Phobic Women Signs

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How to Be a Man All Women Want

Looking at players and the player’s behavior for many years, as well as years spent in research and analysis of a player behavior I can say with all confidence that the most important key to success with women is by making her feel special. Sounds trivial, doesn’t it? But do you, guy really know what it is that makes a woman feel special and how to make a woman feel special? And do you know what ruins a relationship and makes a woman leave a man in the first place? And do you know what are some things that are the polar opposite of making a woman feel special?


If you are like most normal men, you are probably making the same mistakes with women that ultimately make the women leave you. And if you are a guy whose girlfriend is like most women, she will never tell you what it is that makes you feel the worst and makes her want to leave the relationship. See, some of the things that men do traditionally that they think will make women more attracted to them and to give women incentives to invest more in a relationship is to embellish their (men’s) contribution in the previous relationship or relationships. Granted, it works in the beginning of a new relationship when you just start dating, but once your relationship has taken a turn to move toward more serious commitment, those same things that intrigued your girlfriend in the beginning become mundane and ultimately hurtful.

See, what most guys don’t realize is that it’s not so much about being chivalrous that makes a woman feel special. It’s about how chivalrous you are to her compare to other people. I was once on a date with someone who literally jumped in front of a couple with a baby in a car seat to get the door to a restaurant for THEM, and once they passed, he barged in leaving me behind and did not even hold the door for me. If you want your woman feel special, then you have to treat her better than anyone else. Doesn’t mean you can be a jerk to everyone else, but the only thing that will make your girlfriend feel special is to put her higher than everyone else.

Another things that guys do all the time is discounting the value of their gifts. Let me explain this. I am not talking about lowering the price of a piece of jewelry you bought for Valentine’s Day. I am talking about doing something for your girlfriend that supposedly makes her feel special and then take it back by saying something that completely diminishes the value of your gift, and I am not just talking about an actual gift that you can buy at a store. It could be anything starting from what we call “little things”. Let me give you a few examples so that you better understand what I am talking about and hopefully watch out for those things in the future.

I had a girlfriend who started dating a guy and shortly after they became physically intimate. She liked when he went down on her. So, one night they are making love at his place and when she asks him to go down on her he does that and says, “yeah, my ex-girlfriend made he do that all the time. I literally spent hours every day going down on her.” Excuse me? Are you out of your mind? I was speechless when she told me this story. How do you think that made her feel? Here is another example. My girlfriend met this great guy. He took her out to fancy places, spent money on her and generally did many things that made her feel damn special. When they became more involved he changed. He still took her to nice places and bought her gifts, but every time they went out he never failed to mention some other girl he’d dated before whom he took to the same

place, while spending more money then he spent on her. For instance, they go to a nice restaurant and he says “I took Christy here when we were dating. She’d never been here before. Oh, yeah I bought her $2,000 pearl necklace that day.” A typical thought to ponder that comes to mind is, ok you did that for her only after two weeks of dating her, while we’ve been dating for three months and you’ve never spent that much money on me. Ok, this is really not about how much money you spend on whom, I want to reiterate. This is about discounting what you have done for your current girlfriend and rubbing in her face that she is “second best”. Sure, you may have spent lots of money on gifts, bought her a three hundred dollar dress for Valentine’s Day, and you have generally made her feel like she is someone special, at least to you. Then you just take it back by mentioning something you did for someone else that was more significant. What that makes her feel is that she immediately feels small. You know how we say one’s heart grows when they are in love? Well, you get the opposite effect when you take your generosity back by saying you’ve done so much more for somebody else.

And this is not about the monetary value of your gifts. Trust me, I would rather be with a minimum-wage worker who saves up for a long time to take me to a fancy restaurant once in three months, then date a millionaire who buys me an expensive gift that cost him a drop in the sea. It is not all about the money and expensive gifts. If a person who has limited funds goes and spends his life savings worth of two hundred dollars on a gift for me, this is the most precious gift I could ask for ever though a wealthy man takes me to the Caribbean for three weeks, buys me a Mercedes and a diamond ring. Same goes for the guy’s looks; I would rather date a homely guy who thinks I am the best thing that’s ever happen to him, then the most handsome man who tells me I should lose weight and comments on other girl’s hotness in my presence constantly making me feel inadequate. Seriously. One of my girlfriends told me she was dating a guy who once threw a party at his house. When the party settled and there were just a few guests left in the house her boyfriend decided to bring up the past. He got some old albums out of a drawer and showed his buddies pictures of his ex girlfriends. There was one in particular whom he praised as “the most beautiful woman I’ve ever dated” in front of his current girlfriend.

That has really nothing to do with insecurity and lack of confidence. Someone can be the most confident person there is but when your significant other puts you down, it really makes a significant impact on you. For instance, if someone whose opinion you don’t value (such as a jealous co-worker) says you need to lose weight, you ignore them. But when your significant other makes the same comment, you take it to heart. If you guys don’t believe me, think about how it would make you feel if your girlfriend said, “my boyfriend’s penis was twice as big as yours.”

Negative comments received from your significant other may seriously impact your self-esteem. Lowered self-esteem, increased self-awareness can make a person very unhappy. We don’t stay with people who make us unhappy, no matter how much we love them. We don’t want to love while losing ourselves.

On the contrary, I once knew a guy who made every woman feel special. He was absolutely mind blowing boyfriend. Wherever he went with his girlfriends, he always showered them with compliments, told each of them, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve even seen”, he never mentioned another women in terms of “gorgeous”, “good looking”, “hot”, etc. in the presence of his date. If he did refer to someone as attractive, he always used words such as “attractive”, “cute”, but never “stunning”, “super hot”, etc. He generally made sure that whatever descriptions he used for his date were at least a notch higher than what he used for other women. If he told his date “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever dated”, than he felt safe to say to someone about some other woman, “she is cute,” “she’s not too bad”. He would never discount his girlfriend or date by admitting that she is pretty and then go on and on about some hottie he dated a few years back. He was dating online and every woman that he wrote to felt special and thought she was special. Perhaps it is deceptive, but even though he did give each one of them a priceless gift of knowing they were special. An old Russian movie comes to mind where a young woman says to her new boyfriend who chased her for a long time, referring to her ex she had just dumped, “He gave me himself; you gave me myself.”

Ok, we don’t need to be Miss Universe. We just need to be it in your eyes. Read More

Dating Mr. Nice Guy

Don’t we all dream of meeting someone who will be nice to us and treat us with kindness? We sure do. But when we say Mr. Nice guy, what we really mean is a spineless doormat, or a pimpled geek who was brutally picked on throughout his high-school years and who is so fearful of the outside world that he prefers a company of his PC and a Playboy vs. real-world challenges of dating.

When we first meet a Mr. Nice Guy we find that he is so sweet, nice and innocent that we immediately compelled to pet him like a cute little puppy or a small child, because we think Mr. Nice Guy is a real sweetheart. Mr. Nice Guy is not the type who can strike a spark of chemistry. After all, he is so shy and fearful (the opposite of confident), that the only feeling he can possibly trigger is empathy. We may appreciate his shyness, kindness and that sick-puppy look on his face when he looks up to us with adoration, but to strike inter-gender interest, it is just not enough.

Sometimes, however, you may not be able to recognize Mr. Nice Guy the second you meet him. He may be hiding behind an impressive diploma and a high-profile job, and may not even show his intimidation first time you meet him.

If you decide to give him a chance, you really are taking chances. Mr. Nice Guy tends to become overly jealous, possessive, and even abusive or plain stalker. Because Mr. Nice Guy usually doesn’t have much of a life, he may become extremely attached and needy almost immediately. He is so afraid to lose the slightest hope he has for having you as his girlfriend, that he starts calling you incessantly, requiring you to spend all of your free time with him, requiring your constant physical presence, knowing every minute where you are at, who you are with and what you are doing. If you don’t answer his call, he will start worrying that something wrong is going on. If you don’t return his call immediately or worse yet, within a couple of hours, he may show up at your door, wait for you on your door step and stalk you at various places you frequent.

Ever had that happen to you? Not a good thing, is it? Here is how you can recognize the danger potential the first time you meet Mr. Nice Guy.

He is so smitten by you that he doesn’t want the evening to end. After a movie he will ask you for a dinner. After dinner he will ask you for a drink. If you say you have to go home, he will ask you to walk around the block so that you two can talk longer. If you say no, he will hold your hand in his, while looking at you with the look in his eyes that resemble that poor little puppy you found on the street when you were five. He will ask you several times if it’s ok to call you and demand you make promise to see him again. He will want to walk you to your apartment door, so that he can ensure you are home safe. He will touch you excessively, pet your hand, touch your hair, stop at every block if you are walking down the street so that he can give you another hug. He generally acts as if you are already a loving couple after you have just met. To Mr. Nice Guy you are the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and while it is a nice thing to know, do you really want to end up with someone who is holding you so tight in his arms that he doesn’t let you breathe?