Granted, most men do not play games. If they like you, they’ll tell you they like you. If they don’t like you, you’ll know sooner rather than later. Most men are pretty straight forward about women they like. And if a man does not like you, he won’t call you.
There are very few men who are, while not exactly what we call “players”, but are guys who are genuinely interested in a girl but want to “play it cool”. Those are men who wait for three days to call a girl after the first date. They don’t really chase her, and make her chase them instead if they can. And if the girl does not chase them, they become disinterested and move on to the next girl.
So, how do you know if a guy you are seeing is a player or is just playing games?
Well, players don’t really play mind games. They do in a way, but they do it differently. Players usually tell a woman she is everything he’s ever wanted; making her feel great about herself so that after a while she becomes dependent on the player she is dating for attention and affection.
Guys who play games, on the other hand, downplay their interest. They do not call often because they are conscious about how the women perceive them. They do not want to seem too interested, too desperate, etc. They do what Double Your Dating teaches them to do. To summarize, they never compliment a woman they’ve just met, they don’t shower her with attention, affection and gifts etc. There is one use for this book from where I am standing; if a girl does not like you, by acting like that in the book, you are going to lose her quickly, and that is ultimately what you want to achieve because you don’t want a girl who is dating you for your money and the nice things that she gets from you. But once you have determined that the girl you are seeing is interested in you, and not the perks she is getting from you, you need to quickly depart from that type of behavior, because if you keep acting like that, she will feel unappreciated and slowly drift away.
Enough said, the players, on the other hand, unlike genuine guys who play games to avoid getting hurt, will make you feel like you are the best thing that’s ever happened to you, like they worship the ground you are walking on.
So, with that said, if you really don’t know how to determine if you are dating a player, or just a guy who plays mind games, read on.
Guys who play games are calculated. You will quickly notice that a guy you are seeing is calculated. He will call you exactly three days after the first date, no sooner, no later. That’s just a rule some men have. They he will try to play it cool. For instance, guys like that usually know what other guys do when they really like a girl. They’ve been burned before and they don’t want to repeat the same mistakes, so they approach dating and courtship with caution.
They don’t want to be dependent on the girl. They generally hate being vulnerable and weak.
Here are some milestones that will help you determine if the guy you are seeing is playing games with you.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- When you call him, does he answer the phone right away or lets the call go to the voice mail?
- Does he initiate a phone call every time or waits for you to call him every other time?
- Does he tell you he wants to see you every single time you talk on the phone (or e-mail) or does he wait for you to tell him you want to see him every other time?
You get the idea. I am sure you can make up the rest of the questions along the same lines.
Generally, men who play games are insecure. They will ignore you some of the time because they need constant reassurance that they are important to you.
Here is how you can quickly determine whether a man really likes you and is just playing games, or just doesn’t care:
- Does he ever initiate phone calls?
- Does he ever want you to take the initiative in the relationship?
- Does he date other women? (if the answer is YES, then he has not decided that you are the one for him)
- Does he generally tell you about his whereabouts at all times?
- Does he send you mixed signals?
Here I want to quickly elaborate what I mean by mixed signals:
He acts indifferent one time, then when you least expect it, he calls you and acts all lovey-dovey that makes your heart melt. Then he disappears again.
He keeps you at an arms’ length, keeping his own life habits and wanting you to have “your own life”.
You never know where your relationship stands or where it’s going. Then again, when you say you are seeing other men (not sleeping with them but just dating AKA going out) he blows up.
Some days (especially when he feels he has lost a hold of you), he will allude that your relationship is pretty damn serious to the point that he wants to spend the rest of your life with you. Then when you naturally call him on that, he says he never said what he had alluded to or made you assume what he implied. Here are some real life examples from women who wrote to me about their dating relationships with men:
- He says you are the one for him and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Next thing you start literally packing your stuff and he is damn surprised when you ask if he is going to bring the truck over to move your stuff over to his house
- He says in a joke mode he wants to have children with you. Then when you say you want to be married by a certain age, he makes excuses such as “we don’t know each other well enough”, “I am not in the position to make commitment right now” and other stuff like that.
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