Let’s face it, dating rules generally applicable to most women do not apply to the Big and Beautiful. Plus-size women in the dating world are faced with everyday challenges. How can you, as a plus-size woman overcome them and turn your shortcomings into your assets?
First of all, let’s start with an online dating profile description. How do your chose your body type correctly without misleading the readers? A plus size woman is identified by the clichés “a few extra pounds”, “stocky”, “heavy set”, “full-figured” and “big and beautiful”. In reality, those labels are far from an accurate description of what one’s body type truly is. A little research of an online dating site demonstrates that women who identify themselves as “average” and “curvy” could very well be placed in the category “heavy set”.
With measurements of 5’9, 34B-26-36, dress size 4, and body fat percentage of 19%, I consider myself “about average”, while my survey of different dating sites shows that an average woman on a dating site, who is between the ages of 30 and 50 and who identifies herself as “average”, “curvy” or “a few extra pounds”, appears to be at least 20 lbs overweight.
Granted, these days men on a dating site are used to seeing big and beautiful women who describe themselves as curvy. Although most people generally view “curvy” body type is someone with measurements 36DD-25-38 and looks like a swimsuit model, it is different for an online dating site. If you look at women describing themselves as “curvy” on a dating site, there are really no curves. Where are the curves is the body measurements are 60C-60-60?
Since most widely search terms that men use when browsing a dating site are “Slim”, and “Athletic”, women often tend to embellish the truth about their body types and place themselves into a more widely searched category. But, when they to on a first date, the best thing that can happen is that a man will spend an hour with the woman, but will never call again. Most men, however, will simply say, “You have misrepresented yourself on your dating profile” and storm out. So, do yourself a favor and be upfront and honest about your body type.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s look how we can use your body type in your favor.
1. First and foremost, if you are what we call a plus size woman, chances are, you love to cook. Most men like to eat. So, be sure to mention that in your online dating profile and perhaps include a photo of you mastering a great dish in your kitchen.
2. Make sure to post at least one full body shot. There are certain poses that are more favorable to a plus-size woman, but which, at the same time will give an idea that you aren’t the skinny type.
3. Be flirty. Most men like women who flirt. Just browse around a dating site a bit and you will be surprised to see that most men check “flirting” as a quality that turns them on. If a man is turned on thinking about meeting you, chances are, you can sustain his interest, even if you are not his favorite body type.
4. Wear clothing that is flattering to your body and that is made specifically for a plus size woman. Do not wear short skirts if you don’t have perfect legs and that will show off your cellulite. Do not wear something that is two size small. Clothes that don’t fit properly looks terrible. You will look like a fool and in addition will highlight your most undesirable features, which is completely opposite of your goal. There are many brands that only make clothing for plus-size ladies, such as Plus-size clothing for women who shop for style, not just size, at Lane Bryant
5. Be confident. Love yourself the way you are. If you don’t, why would someone else?
6. Do not ask your man if you are fat. The truth is, most men know if you are, so avoid putting them in an uncomfortable position and setting yourself for a disappointment. If a man likes you, he likes you the way you are. Avoid conversations such as "Do you think this dress makes me look fat?" and a response "Your butt makes you look fat!"
7. Do not put out on the first, second or third date. Just because you are bigger then average may make you feel vulnerable to men then women who are more confident about their bodies. Do not let that perception stick to you. Be respectful. If a man likes you for your personal qualities and enjoy spending time with you, he will continue dating you and wait for you to be ready for sexual intimacy when the time is right.
Post photo is courtesy of Jake Jacobs, Sunset Photography, e-mail
I agree with this post in the sense that women, even plus-size women, should use their assets to their advantage. However, it seems that the suggestions are based on stereotypes and are not unique to larger women, and quite frankly I question the OP's qualifications to make such suggestions. I'll go through your tips...
ReplyDelete1. Not all plus-size women love to cook, just like not all slim women are gym bunnies. This is rooted in the stereotype that big people love to eat, and that is unfortunate, considering that you are given this group advice. Speaking as one larger-sized woman, I am a professional woman who is not the homemaker type who loves to cook (or eat). If I advertised that I love to cook, then men would feel sorely mislead.
2.I agree.
3.This works offline, but truthfully, it's hard to flirt online, and if a man doesn't see you as his "favorite" body type, he won't even give you a chance to show you either. It's better to seek out those who do appreciate larger body types in the first place (there are plenty out there).
4.This is kind of a sticky one, and it's a little more complicated than just dress "your size." I don't think anyone, regardless of size, should dress in clothes that do not flatter them. However, not all plus-size clothes flatter plus-size people - how many large women walk around in moo-moos and sweats? How is that flattering, either? The key is not to dress in plus-size clothes, the key is to find clothes that highlight your best features and show off your alluring self, period.
5.Agree 100 percent.
6.NO woman should ever ask a man this. In my experience, most women who ask this are quite thin, not fat. If you are truly a fat woman, chances are you already know and will not ask this question.
7.Yes, this is the perception. But the fact is that men use women for sex all the time, and not just large women. This is a great tip for any women, not only plus-size women.
This article was very anti-plus size woman, which is odd since it is for plus size women - it came off as snooty and mean rather than helpful. I don't agree with the skirt comment at all - if I feel sexy in a short skirt then I will radiate confidence that will attract men - If the writer doesn't like to look at plus size women in skirts - she should turn her head. Plus, not all skinny women look great in skirts either - very few women have perfect legs. I believe if I feel sexy then I am sexy.
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