Some Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Sleep with a Guy You’ve Just Met
I have previously written about sex on a first date and received quite a few controversial responses back. So, I started thinking, why not, what would be the reasons that a woman should wait to have sex with a man too soon? And looking back two years since my last divorce, at the relationships I’ve had I have come up with several things about why a woman should probably wait for a second or third date to have sex. Before I start though, I would like to reiterate that according to my previous surveys of couples, including married couples, many of them had sex on a first date and now, twenty to thirty years later, they are still together growing strong. However, there are factors that may make you think that you want to wait a bit longer to have sex. Of course, the guy may be just too cute to pass up and sometimes you may just want the sex without strings and without any interest in a relationship beyond a one night stand. Remember even though the guy may look fantastic, he may not be great in bed, which frequently happens, in which case you don’t lose anything. Or sometimes even if he is not bad sexually, you just feel like you’ve killed your hunger by having sex with him and are not interested in seeing him again.
Granted, it’s good to know upfront what you are getting involved with. I’d be awfully frustrated to find out that a guy I am dating is going to suck in bed. In fact, when I dated a few years back in between my marriages, I didn’t have sex with my most recent ex for nearly three weeks and was getting really anxious and fearful that he may not be up to par. That was my biggest fear with him and luckily it was dissolved fast. But these days I prefer to know upfront. And while it’s all good, here are things to keep in mind in deciding whether to have sex with a man you’ve just met or how soon to have sex with a man you are dating.
First, determine what your priorities are and what you are looking for in a man. Remember that these days men tend to embellish the truth about themselves, often misrepresenting educational degree, job position and salary just so that they can be more attractive to women. Every man realizes the more money and power he has, the bigger of a turn on he is to a woman and men don’t just compete with each other as to who has a better job but also compete in the areas such as who has a hotter woman on his arm. A man will exaggerate certain facts about himself to attract a woman. With that said, if you really care about a certain income level in a man, don’t sleep with him until you get an idea of what he makes. Once you have had great sex with him you will be more attached and if you later find out he’s been laid off six months ago due to the plant closure or he’s lost his high profile executive job because the startup went belly up, you may end up stuck with your newly found boyfriend despite the tremendous stress you are incurring as a result of being in this financially constrained relationship.
Another thing that may happen if you have sex too soon, is that the man will automatically assume the “boyfriend status” thinking that if you are sleeping with him, and demand that you discontinue your search for the right man and stop meeting and dating other eligible candidates, pressuring you into a monogamous relationship way before you decide whether he is the one for you. Even when you truthfully tell him you are still searching and dating other men, he may be delusional and not even take you seriously when you say all those things. He may start demanding to know your whereabouts, complain about you not answering your phone when he calls, preventing you from going away for a weekend without him or getting upset over you not spending enough time with him. So, I’d say there are reasons to do your due diligence before you jump into the sack. You never know if he turns out to be a psycho stalker who will just come by your place whenever he pleases, deprive you from your right to privacy and do other horrible things that will eventually make you file for a restraining order.