Since I posted my previous article How to write a catchy headline for your online dating profile I have realized that those great dating profile headlines which I gave as examples, while being great dating profile headlines, may not necessarily match each individual’s style, personality and goals. Thus, I have attempted to demonstrate how one can, in fact, convey a deep meaning through a specific dating profile headline, while still being subtle. But if you are in a hurry, go directly to Dating Headlines right now for truly amazing dating headlines!
See, most people just don’t realize that a dating profile headline says a lot about the individual. If you had to write one sentence which could either describe you from a certain perspective, or your ideal match or a dating situation that you are trying to accomplish through a dating site membership on a popular online dating site such as Match.Com or Classy-Match, what would that sentence be? Remember, you are not just trying to attract people of the opposite sex; you are trying to attract the right type of person.
If we employ the approach of Milton H. Ericson, M.D., the way we communicate either verbally or in writing, has two distinct representations: The Surface Structure and The Deep Structure. The Deep Structure representation is designed to capture the intuitions which each of us have when we hear The Surface Structure presented.
What does your dating profile headline says about you? If you are like most people, you have probably thought of saying something like “Outdoor lover seeks companion”, “Looking for friends and maybe more”, “Looking For Excitement”, “In Search of You” etc. So, what’s wrong with those dating profile headlines? Seemingly nothing. They all convey some sort of information about the person whose dating profile you are viewing or what the person is looking for on a dating site.
Let’s review. Without even looking at the person’s profile I would guess that “Outdoor lover seeks companion” is a dating profile that will have many photos of the person doing all sorts of outdoor activities. The word “companion” tells me that this dating profile belongs to a woman, as women tend to seek companionship as a base and an indispensable component of a relationship a lot more often than men do. These perceptions could be either right or wrong and for each person will convey a slightly different meaning.
As demonstrated in Milton H. Ericson’s studies, the way we perceive the world is not directly, but rather through specific models which are a product of our learned behavior and past experiences. Some people, having read this online dating headline, might imagine a person climbing up a mountain. Some may envision a walk in a park.
Here is a real life situation that I have learned from somebody:
A woman’s dating profile’s headline said that she was an “avid cyclist”. A man who responded to her dating site ad offered a bike ride together. They met on a Sunday morning on a trail that the man suggested. The woman had never been at that trail before. The trail was narrow. Cyclists were riding fast. After a ten-mile ride the woman looked exhausted and angry. She complained a lot and finally turned around and rode back to her car. The man could not understand why his date who called herself an “avid cyclist” could barely make the ten-mile ride, while he had planned riding a ninety-mile round trip. Clearly, an intense long ride was what the man considered a bike ride, while the woman probably referred to a not-so-intense “recreational” bike ride.
As you can see, we have different views of things based on our personal experiences, and while composing your dating site headline you want to give a clear representation of who you are, there is always a chance that you may be perceived to be different from your opinion of yourself and from what you are trying to convey.
Take another example. “Looking For Excitement” is probably not the best headline for a man’s dating site profile. While his intent in writing this headline may have been completely innocent, some women may read into it and decide that this man is only looking for multiple affairs but not for anything serious.
Notwithstanding, while you want to avoid ambiguities, your best bet is to describe yourself in a dating site headline in a way the best represents you and what you are looking for.
“Looking for friends and maybe more” is an overused dating profile headline that doesn’t say much about someone other than stating that the person lacks in the creativity department. “In Search Of You” gives out negative signals, such as a sign of neediness and desperation.
Generally, I always suggest that a good dating profile headline is the one where rather than using direct description of who you are, you are using a statement which you live by, or that describes what kind of a relationship you are looking for.
A good source of dating profile headlines is your personal pipeline of quotes of famous people. Are there any specific quotes that you love and live by? They may be fit for your dating profile headline.
One of my favorite quotes “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind” By Dr. Seuss, is a good reflection of how I feel about myself and the people I surround myself with.
If you want to meet people that are deep and smart, try using headlines that trigger a thought process, such as “Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” This kind of a headline will likely prompt a variety of ways in which people will respond to it.
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Want a better dating site? Classy-Match.Com caters to successful single professionals. Although many members of this dating site are millionaires and celebrities, intelligent, good-looking, successful professionals are encouraged to join. Classy-Match.Com has literally thousands of members waiting to meet you.
P.S: Want to increase your chances of success? Head straight to Killer Dating Headlines
Thursday, March 27, 2008
How to Chose Online Dating Headline That Fits Your Personality
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Great post. It's a lot to think about. It's very difficult to condense your personality down into one sentence.
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