Writing to women on an online dating site - Online Dating E-mail Writing Tips - Online Dating E-mail Samples
Writing an online dating site email that captures the eye of a potential date has always been an uneasy task for both men and women. As far as men go, it is even more difficult for them, since traditionally it is a man who initiates contact with a woman. Another reason is obvious, women get way more responses through an online dating site then men do in general. So, let’s talk about the things that you can actually say to catch the attention of someone whom you really want to meet and to make them respond. Here I am going to give you an example of an e-mail that I received today from someone that I don’t remotely consider being a match. And guess what? I responded to his e-mail. So, here it is.
Hello ModelElaine,
My name is Dave. The camera does love you. You must get compliments often... How you, or I for that matter, could still be without a partner is baffling, no?
Here is a brief snap-shot of my world.
I'm seeking a wonderful woman with a twinkle in her eyes for a LTR. This woman should be easy-going, love music & dancing, staying home is ok, dining out is very good, snuggling and intimacy gets you a gold star and seeing that I could be "the one" gets you the best present of all... assuming that I think the same thing about you....a GREAT relationship....
Live in San Jose, 55 years young, 215 lbs. and in good shape, multiple home owner, never been married, no kids, no problems, no diseases, gainfully employed as a full-time design engineer and part-time Disc Jockey, love music and dancing, love photography, good cook, love to travel, snow ski, hike, bike, go to the beach, LOVE intimacy, romantic dinners, movies and the list goes on.
I'd like to learn more about you...
Interested?
Dave
You may ask, where is the part that made me respond? I am going to copy and paste it here again:
The camera does love you. You must get compliments often... How you, or I for that matter, could still be without a partner is baffling, no?
It’s the kind compliment that he made in his e-mail. The rest is irrelevant, because he is way older than my cut off age limit, I don’t consider him particularly attractive, and other things. However, while I normally just hit the Delete button, I was compelled to respond. Here is my responsive e-mail. If you ever feel compelled to write a rejection e-mail to someone who has contacted you through an online dating site, and want to be extremely nice and not hurt someone’s feelings, feel free to use my draft as general guidelines.
Hello Dave,
Thank you for your e-mail and your kind compliment. Although I rarely respond to match e-mail, I felt that I should at least thank you for the compliments. I know, many people ask me the same question, why am I single? The common-sense answer that anyone gives to this question is “I am selective”. You sound fantastic, and although I don’t think we are a particular match, I am sure there is a wonderful woman out there waiting to meet you and it’s just a matter of time when it happens. I wish you best of luck in finding her.
God Bless!
Guys may want to ask me, what has this guy achieved by getting my response? Well, a negative result is better than no result, right? It is always better to get a clear NO, then to wait for days to hear from somebody. I am sure that men send multiple e-mails to women, and I think it is nice to get a response back once in a while. Now, if he was something I could potentially be interested in, after reading his e-mail and looking at the picture, I would be compelled to read his dating site profile and possibly respond, while some men that I might find interesting and attractive on their online dating profiles send such dull e-mails, that I don’t even bother to look at their profiles.
Now, here is another dating site e-mail I received a couple of days ago.
Dear Elaine!
You must have had a bad time online here if people are copying your profile. Luckily for me, nobody's done that with mine (not that anyone would want to). You have very nice pictures too. Well, I guess the best way for you to see if you might want to get to know me is to read my profile and see if I'm someone you might like to meet. If so, please write back. Hope to hear from you.
James
It seems like a very unsophisticated e-mail. But the most critical things that make this e-mail stand out amongst other online dating site e-mails immediately, are:
1. Addressing me by name, while other men dating online usually say, “hi”, “hi there”, “how are you?” etc.
2. Showing respect by saying “Dear”. It may sound too official, but it makes me feel good as if I was an important guest at Ritz Carlton or something.
3. Adressing something I had said in my actual online dating site profile, such as You must have had a bad time online here if people are copying your profile.
Those three things are the first ones that triggered my interest. After looking at the pictures, I concluded that the guy isn’t too bad on the eyes either. But the things that really got me interested was that his profile writing exuded three things: fantastic sense of humor, easy-going attitude and warmth.
Conclusion: in order to get a woman’s interest through an e-mail on an online dating site, you need to:
1. Write an e-mail that makes you stand out in order make the woman look at your photos
2. Your pictures must be somewhat attractive to the woman (or at least not to trigger a gag response)
3. Your profile should appeal to her.
While all of those three components combined make the package necessary to set up a first date, your initial e-mail is the first one that gets your foot in the door.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Online Dating E-mail Samples
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That's very interesting, when I was dating online a lot guys did say "hi" or "hi there", and their e-mails almost seem like it was a templet that they copied and pasted to all the people they were e-mailing. I didn't reponse to those either. glad to know it wasn't just me. ^_^
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