Finding a date on line seems like the most effective way of dating because it offers more advantages then traditional dating, such as having exposure to a large pool of potential dates, being able to see a picture of the person, being able to get an idea of what the person is like by reading their profile and self-description and more. Before you meet in person, you are able to explore a bit further into the person’s personality by e-mailing and talking on the telephone and to make initial determination whether you might be interested in the actual meeting.
A big advantage of on line dating v. traditional dating is the ability to read a person’s personality profile. A personality profile is meant to describe the person from a subjective viewpoint. However, from one’s description you can get somewhat of an idea of what the person is like. Even if the description is not accurate and is influenced by the person’s own perception of his or her character traits, you can pretty much tell what it would be like to meet the person.
Many people do not read profiles and make selections on whom to contact by simply looking at pictures. That’s fine if all you are looking for is a fun evening out or a one-night stand. But if you are looking for something more substantial, reading one’s profile description is imperative for cutting through the large pool of candidates that can save you substantial amount of time later on.
First and foremost, look at how the person is describing himself or herself in a dating profile. If he or she says that she has a great sense of humor, but the profile description does not convey that, you may have doubts whether the person is actually humorous and witty, or would like to think she is. But if the profile conveys a sense of humor in it, the person doesn’t really need to say that. It is obvious.
You can also get a good idea of what their sense of humor is like. For instance:
“As a single guy whose apprehensiveness would not allow auditioning for the next season of "Who Wants to Date and Fall In Love With The Average-Joe-Obnoxious-Millionaire-Bachelor?" I thought online dating would be the second best way to go about it.” This kind of a line in a dating profile conveys sense of humor, so no need to say the dull line such as “I have a good sense of humor…..”
Here is another great way to convey not only the presence of a healthy sense of humor, but also the ability to laugh at yourself, not take life too seriously and be real “When I am not running a marathon or competing at triathlon, I can be found riding a mountain bike or pumping iron at the gym.... oh, and the rest of the time I can be found in my kitchen mastering a gourmet meal for someone special……. come on people are you all for real? and who on earth is buying all those DVD’s and TV dinners?”
You can always get an idea about what the person is looking for. For instance, if a woman says that she is looking for a serious relationship, love and companionship, or a soul mate, approaching and dating this woman with the purpose of a one-night stand is a waste of time. By the same token, if a man says that he would like to meet “women” (plural), you may want to reconsider even seeing if this man has a long-term potential.
This is important. I have throughout many years of online dating, seen multiple profiles where men say that they are looking to meet “women”. Every single one of those men has exhibited “player” signs at the very first date. Those signs could include anything from an attempt to get intimate right away (i.e. an offer to take me to his house), to a more subtle but just as strong move in that direction.
Men have subtle and perhaps subconscious ways of conveying whether they are interested in a serious relationship, or casual dating, and one of those signs is what he says in his online dating profile as far as who he wants to meet.
Another sign to watch out for is whether the man has described his ideal match in epithets other then appearance. Any man who is interested in connecting on an emotional level rather then physical attraction is the one who has a long-term potential.
Some personality profiles of individuals at online dating sites also go a step further as the sites may offer a service that can match personality compatibilities based on comprehensive qualities gathered from a questionnaire or survey the individual completed. While any suggested compatibility match is not a foolproof method to guarantee success, it gives a way to get some in-depth knowledge about the individual faster, compared to getting to know someone from going on a series of dates.
With all that said, here is the crux of what you can do to maximize your online dating success.
First, register for an online dating site of your choice. I personally recommend singlesnet.com or Match.com because of the large number of registered members. You need to register (for free) in order to be able to post a profile and to be seen by potential “matches”. Once you’ve registered, but before you have composed your profile, if you are on Match.com
, make sure you hide your profile initially. Incomplete profile that you may be tempted to publish will be seen by potential matches, but you want to make sure to create the “perfect” profile description that will convey exactly what you are and what you are looking for before you publish it.
Another important thing to remember is that profiles with photos get 15 times more views then the ones without. Make sure that before you contact someone through an online dating site you have your photos approved and visible. If you contact someone before you have photos on your dating profile, chances are, they will pass on and you will never find out if they were interested or not. In most cases, people will not save your e-mail just to check back later to see if you have photos later on. They will not know that you don’t have photos because they have not yet been approved, and this day and age people are extremely suspicious when they don’t see pictures on dating profiles.
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